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最終更新日 : 2012/01/29 (Sun) 09:48
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Beware of computer programmers that carry screwdrivers.
All I need to make a comedy is a park, a policeman and a pretty girl.
Gigerenzer\'s Law of Indispensable Ignorance: The world cannot function without partially ignorant people.
Modern capitalism is not about free markets, it is about building sufficient mass that the market gravitationally collapses around you.
In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.
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When I told the people of Northern Ireland that I was an atheist, a woman in the audience stood up and said, \'Yes, but is it the God of the Catholics or the God of the Protestants in whom you don\'t believe?
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As nightfall does not come at once, neither does oppression. In both instances, there is a twilight when everything remains unchanged. And it is in such twilight that we all must be most aware of change in the air ? however slight ? lest we become unwitting victims of the darkness.
A committee is a group of people who individually can do nothing but together can decide that nothing can be done.
There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home.
I have made this letter longer than usual because I lack the time to make it shorter.
It is better to be feared than loved, if you cannot be both.
The surest way to corrupt a youth is to instruct him to hold in higher esteem those who think alike than those who think differently
Most people would sooner die than think; in fact, they do so.
Opportunities multiply as they are seized.
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Learning is what most adults will do for a living in the 21st century.
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Well-timed silence hath more eloquence than speech.
If it wasn\'t for C, we\'d be writing programs in BASI, PASAL, and OBOL.
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The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it.
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If you put tomfoolery into a computer, nothing comes out of it but tomfoolery. But this tomfoolery, having passed through a very expensive machine, is somehow enobled and no-one dares criticize it.
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A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.
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The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other bastard die for his.
Outside of a dog, a book is man\'s best friend. Inside of a dog, it\'s too dark to read.
Anyone who considers arithmetical methods of producing random digits is, of course, in a state of sin.
Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent.
Humor is just another defense against the universe.
Each problem that I solved became a rule which served afterwards to solve other problems.
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The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other bastard die for his.
Sometimes, the best answer is a more interesting question
Early to rise and early to bed. Makes a male healthy, wealthy and dead.
Pardon him, Theodotus; he is a barbarian, and thinks that the customs of his tribe and island are the laws of nature.
I don\'t even butter my bread; I consider that cooking.
I do not fear computers. I fear the lack of them.
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Just because bulldozers are used to build highways doesn\'t mean bulldozers are the best way to travel on a highway.
The President has kept all of the promises he intended to keep.
If absolute power corrupts absolutely, where does that leave God?
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Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.
Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog. Few people are interested and the frog dies of it.
The fear of death is the most unjustified of all fears, for there\'s no risk of accident for someone who\'s dead.
There is no sincerer love than the love of food.
Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
Each problem that I solved became a rule which served afterwards to solve other problems.
Real Programmers always confuse Christmas and Halloween because Oct31 == Dec25 !
Pascal /n./ A programming language named after a man who would turn over in his grave if he knew about it.
Comedy is nothing more than tragedy deferred.
I hear Glenn Hoddle has found God. That must have been one hell of a pass.
Quoting Coulter is kind of like quoting Joe McCarthy; no doubt it does well when you\'re pandering to a group of like-minded hate mongerers, but it earns you a well-deserved reputation as a vicious, mean-spirited airhead and intellecual lightweight in more analytical and dispassionate circles.
Is your argument that the Creator of the Universe was working under a deadline and His manager forced Him to rush inefficient designs into production?
\'Everything you say is boring and incomprehensible\', she said, \'but that alone doesn\'t make it true.\'
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Comedy is nothing more than tragedy deferred.
Honolulu, it\'s got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, and sharks for the wife\'s mother.
A man can\'t be too careful in the choice of his enemies.
When ideas fail, words come in very handy.
Everybody\'s worried about stopping terrorism. Well, there\'s a really easy way: stop participating in it.
War is not the continuation of politics with different means, it is the greatest mass-crime perpetrated on the community of man.
Sometimes, the best answer is a more interesting question
The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds, and the pessimist fears this is true.
Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.
Early to rise, Early to bed, Makes a man healthy but socially dead.
Before the war is ended, the war party assumes the divine right to denounce and silence all opposition to war as unpatriotic and cowardly.
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Whatever is begun in anger ends in shame.
Love is the answer - but while you\'re waiting for the answer sex raises some pretty good questions.
The most likely way for the world to be destroyed, most experts agree, is by accident. That\'s where we come in; we\'re computer professionals. We cause accidents.
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We don\'t like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out.
He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death.
Silence is argument carried out by other means.
If you are going through hell, keep going.
People who think they know everything greatly annoy those of us who do.
Blessed is the man, who having nothing to say, abstains from giving wordy evidence of the fact.
The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible.
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Ever notice that anyone going slower than you is an idiot, but anyone going faster is a maniac?
A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines.
Premature optimization is the root of all evil.
I\'ve just learned about his illness. Let\'s hope it\'s nothing trivial.
All things are possible, except skiing through a revolving door.
A blind bloke walks into a shop with a guide dog. He picks the Dog up and starts swinging it around his head. Alarmed, a shop assistant calls out: \'Can I help, sir?\' \'No thanks,\' says the blind bloke. \'Just looking.\'
I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn\'t it.
The only one listening to both sides of an argument is the neighbor in the next apartment
In the begining there was nothing and God said \'Let there be light\', and there was still nothing but everybody could see it.
Once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be the truth.
When I told the people of Northern Ireland that I was an atheist, a woman in the audience stood up and said, \'Yes, but is it the God of the Catholics or the God of the Protestants in whom you don\'t believe?
Thank you for sending me a copy of your book - I\'ll waste no time reading it.
Humor is the great thing, the saving thing. The minute it crops up, all our irritations and resentments slip away and a sunny spirit takes their place.
Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I\'m not there, I go to work.
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God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time.
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Distrust any enterprise that requires new clothes.
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The only way to combat criminals is by not voting for them.
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Gigerenzer\'s Law of Indispensable Ignorance: The world cannot function without partially ignorant people.
I\'m Jewish. I don\'t work out. If God had wanted us to bend over, He would have put diamonds on the floor.
The competent programmer is fully aware of the limited size of his own skull. He therefore approaches his task with full humility, and avoids clever tricks like the plague.
I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.
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O\'Toole\'s Corollary of Finagle\'s Law: The perversity of the Universe tends towards a maximum.
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Everything has been figured out, except how to live.
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Humor is just another defense against the universe.
We don\'t like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out.
Comedy is nothing more than tragedy deferred.
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Humor is just another defense against the universe.
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When you have to kill a man, it costs nothing to be polite.
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People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid.
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Testing proves the presence, not the absence, of bugs.
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It was God who made me so beautiful. If I weren\'t, then I\'d be a teacher.
Distrust any enterprise that requires new clothes.
Hanlon\'s Razor: Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.
Computer /nm./: a device designed to speed and automate errors.
Egotist: a person more interested in himself than in me.
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Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don\'t need to be done.
When the rich think about the poor, they have poor ideas.
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Some editors are failed writers, but so are most writers.
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The best way to predict the future is to invent it.
It\'s the liberal bias. The press is liberally biased to the right.
In any contest between power and patience, bet on patience.
Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, \'Where have I gone wrong?\' Then a voice says to me, \'This is going to take more than one night.\'
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The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense.
Be nice to people on your way up because you meet them on your way down.
Modern capitalism is not about free markets, it is about building sufficient mass that the market gravitationally collapses around you.
A narcissist is someone better looking than you are.
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The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them.
If you think it\'s simple, then you have misunderstood the problem.
All our knowledge merely helps us to die a more painful death than animals that know nothing.
In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.
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When did I realize I was God? Well, I was praying and I suddenly realized I was talking to myself.
最終更新日 : 2012/01/17/(Tue) 11:28
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